When Your Conscience Hits You Knock It Back With Pills

My journey back from SF went something like this:

5:30pm PST: Drop car off at Buggy Bank (please someone buy it), walk to BART station.
6:00pm PST: BART (3 trains) to SFO.
7:00pm PST: Arrive SFO
11:05pm PST: Flight to Washington Dulles takes off.
7:20am EST: Land at Dulles
8:15am EST: Flight to LaGuardia takes off.
8:30am EST: Flight turns back to Dulles (a window in the cockpit came open).
9:15am EST: Flight to LaGuardia cancelled
9:30am EST: Horrible bitch "customer service" lady tells me the 12:30 flight to JFK is sold out and I can take the 6pm. When I say this is unacceptable she puts me on a 1pm flight out of Reagan. She sends me and some woman away with a cab voucher to take the 45minute ride to catch said flight.
9:35am EST: After calling customer service I am quickly put on the 12:30 flight that was sold out.
11:55am EST: Secure first class seat.
12:35pm EST: Flight to JFK takes off.
1:30pm EST: Flight lands at JFK
2:30pm EST: Arrive at home after dumb-ass cab driver takes Atlantic ave thru Brooklyn, stomping on the brake and gas the whole way. There is no AC in said cab.

By my count that's a tidy 24hrs from the time I dropped my car off to the time I got home.


In related news, a website called Flight Memory has informed me (after doing much laborious data entry) that I have flown 382,693 miles, spending 792 hours (or 33 days) in the air. I've gone to the moon and halfway back again. 216 flights and that's only the ones I can remember or have in my calendar which is far from all of them.


It makes me laugh when I think of the United lady the other day who, after realizing I'm a Premier Executive, said "You don't look like it. Do you fly a lot?". Yes lady. I do. That's why I look like this. I mean, even if you're thinking that- and I'm sure she wasn't even close to the first person who was surprised to see my scruffy ass in first class or in the business lounge- you're not supposed to SAY that to me. Should I put on khakis and a light blue oxford? Would that simplify things for you? Would I then "look like it"? Then you could know who to be nice to without having to look at their boarding pass first. And I'd like 2 glasses of champagne BEFORE takeoff please.